Couples, who first?

I was writing a card to two friends getting married today. I’d written them a lovely heart-felt message and was feeling pretty pleased with myself. They’ll like this card, I thought to myself as I closed it up and managed to muster up some spit to lick the glue on the back of the envelope, god I love the taste of that. Do they flavour it especially for it? I’d love to get my hands on a pot of that there glue. Maybe I could become a Glue licker instead of a Glue sniffer, I know i’d be having more fun.

Anyway, after all the excitement of the envelope licking had died down, I came to the all important names on front of card. How else will anyone in world know who this card is for if I don’t put some names on the front? As I came to put my pen to the envelope I paused, I was stuck, who should I put first? Chris or Hannah? Hannah or Chris? Chis and Hannah or Hannah and Chris?

I stopped, as this now had me thinking, who had a I put first in the past? What do I say when i’m talking about them? I was literally blank. It really shouldn’t matter, they’re both my friends and the fact that i’m giving them a card with both of their names on is fine, why are you even thinking about this? I then started to think about my other couple friends, damn those smug lucky people. I think I found the formula. The person with the most syllables goes first? Same amount means it’s luck of the draw who comes out first. What a lottery.

Does anyone really care I thought to myself. I myself have not given one solitary shit about whether or not my ex girlfriends came before or after mine when we were referred to as a couple. BUT! I have met couples that do, which is weird. Maybe weirder than me writing way too many words about the subject, probably not.

Anyway. I went for Hannah & Chris / Chris & Hannah. These two definitely would’t care. Have I unearthed one of the worlds great unknown formulas? I could be the next Einstein of social taboos. Maybe not, but I look forward to putting my new-found theory to the test.